Jacob

What happens when the past catches up with us, and there’s nowhere left to run? How do we find the courage to face the consequences of our actions? The legacy of Jacob’s earlier cunning and trickery was fast approaching: His brother Esau, with four hundred men would meet him tomorrow at the ford of the Jabbok stream…

Genesis 32:22-32

Then a man came and wrestled with him until just before daybreak. ²⁵ When the man saw that he was not winning the struggle, he hit Jacob on the hip, and it was thrown out of joint. ²⁶ The man said, “Let me go; daylight is coming.” “I won't, unless you bless me,” Jacob answered. ²⁷ “What is your name?” the man asked. “Jacob,” he answered. ²⁸ The man said, “Your name will no longer be Jacob. You have struggled with God and with men, and you have won; so your name will be Israel.” ²⁹ Jacob said, “Now tell me your name.” But he answered, “Why do you want to know my name?” Then he blessed Jacob. ³⁰ Jacob said, “I have seen God face-to-face, and I am still alive”; so he named the place Peniel. ³¹ The sun rose as Jacob was leaving Peniel, and he was limping because of his hip.

 

Jabbok – pebbles in the stream             

Scoured, striated stones

Pitted, patterned pebbles

Rounded in on themselves

Unmoving, unmoved

By whirlwinds of emotion

Tornadoes of tears

Soft murmurings of madness

From the shadows

Pebbles feel no pain

Stones know no fear

Nor the ecstasy of indecision

Until the moment is past

And the possibility is no more

Here there is completion

No

Here there is no life

Here you and I must wrestle

With the seeming pointlessness

of Jacob

Not over high ideals

Worth dying for

But over the pebbles of life

The monotonous ache

and petty annoyance

Of each day’s struggles

Not the soft blanket of resignation -

To turn my face to the wall

And wait for death 

But the strengthened resolve

To keep on

Limping

But maybe a little wiser

Into tomorrow.

The Leper

I wonder how many of us are “comfortable in our own skin”? Are we content with our bodies – the shape and size of our physical attributes? According to Robert Crampton in the Times recently - the number of men undergoing plastic surgery has almost doubled in the past decade. Crampton wrote “I’ve never worried about my eyelids until now…" We may change the way we look, what is more difficult is to change how we feel about how we look….

Mark 1:40-41         

A leper came to him begging him, and kneeling he said to him, “If you choose, you can make me clean.” Moved with pity, Jesus stretched out his hand and touched him, and said to him, “I do choose. Be made clean!”

 

The Leper     

He touched me

Aware only of my own hideousness

Features taut, tucked and twisted

Distorted

Smooth knobbles

That once were hands

Once were feet

And worse…

Aware only of my own filthiness

Barely dressed in rags

Offensive

Encrusted in dirt

And lice

And fleas

I had no beauty to attract him to me

Nothing in my appearance

That he should desire me

of no value

to others

or myself

Despised and rejected

by others

and myself

On my knees I met him

and

When no one else would

He touched me

Though my limbs are numb

He touched me

Where it hurt the most

He touched me

…and I am clean

“You are mine, my beloved

With you I am well pleased”

Ronald Rohlheiser 2005

“Ancient philosophers and mystics used to say that before being born each soul is kissed by God and then goes through life always, in some dark way remembering that kiss… inside each of us, there is a dark memory of having once been touched and caressed by hands far gentler than our own…  that caress… so tender and good that its memory becomes a prism through which we see everything else.”