Dust and Ashes

 At dawn Jesus appeared again in the temple courts,

where all the people gathered round him, and he sat down to teach them.

 The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman

caught in adultery….              John 8: 2-3

I can taste the dust and dirt.

Manhandled through the Temple gates

Pushed forward,

I fell to the ground

Dust clouding up – grit in my eyes

The taste of ashes in my mouth

I thought I couldn’t get much lower

Lying on my back

Day or night

I was wrong

I see only the feet of the crowd

But they can all see me

Hands pull me up

To stand before them all

Clothes dishevelled

barely decent

Shame weighs my eyes down

“Caught in adultery”

The words ring out around the Temple Courts

My life of shame

Lies now in the dust and ashes

Exposed

But not apparently for long

“The Law of Moses commands - stone such women”

“What do you say?”

This public show – it seems - is not just about me

Something bigger is happening

Beyond my understanding

But for me - the end has come

The end of a miserable, damaged life

A life that is no life

These men are right

I am a sinner

I deserve the full measure of justice

The full punishment of a just God

According to the Law of Moses:  Death

I wish I was still down in the dust and ashes

Where I belong

There’s silence

Just my ragged breathing

My eye is caught by movement

A finger writing in the dust

A bent figure getting his hands dirty

And then -

“Let anyone without sin throw the first stone”

Still - silence

Why does no one move?

Why no sound of justice?

What are these righteous men waiting for?

I’ve always known what I am

The Law of Moses makes it plain -

Satisfy the hunger of the Law

Finish this

The finger moves

Writing in the dirt

I cannot see the words

But others do

The world hold its breath

Then, at last – movement

Not stones flying towards me

But feet moving away

First one, then another, then several

Then no more

I dare glance up

The crowd has gone, vanished

As quietly as a morning mist

I look into the eyes of the writer

He smiles

Not a leer

But the smile of a friend, a brother

“Has no one condemned you?” he asks

I look round

“No one, Sir”

“Then neither do I condemn you”

This was not to be death

But new life

This was not the end

But a new beginning

“Go now and leave your life of sin”

Leave the old ways

Leave the shame and guilt

Leave the damage done to you

By so many men

And the damage done by you

to so many wives

step away

take nothing with you

imagine a new life without all this

God’s good life

as it’s meant to be lived

fall in step with a God who will show you

what love really is

“Go now and leave your life of sin”

“Sir, my life is dust and ashes

I am dead

Show me how to live again.”